When Talk Therapy isn’t Enough

You have done the work, or so you thought. Yet, after years of therapy you find yourself in the same place. You thought you were getting better. You thought you were on the right track but then something triggers you and suddenly you feel like you haven’t done any work at all.

I am going to self-disclose here and say that even as a therapist I have been here.

I have experienced my own traumas. In my 20’s talk therapy helped me so much that I decided to make a career change and become a therapist myself, so that I could help others the same way. I went to grad school graduated and in my late 30’s a whole new set of events took place that would rock my world and shake the very core of my being. I found my way back to therapy because I was experiencing symptoms that I just could not handle all by myself. I didn’t want to run away or surpress everything. I have done that before and I know how detrimental that is to my health and wellbeing. So, I wanted to face everything head on. I thought I was doing the right thing. Only talk therapy was not working like it had before. I was still so anxious. I was having the most terrifying intrusive thoughts, I was hypervigilant, I was miserable. So many things were hindering me and I just couldn’t seem to escape it.

It was and has been a nightmare. At one point I even considered leaving the mental health field because I didn’t feel right compensating people for sessions when deep in my core I felt it didn’t work.

I do not love a lot about the mental health industry. I believe there are a lot of generic therapist out there. I have seen my own therapist who pull empty platitudes out of the same books that I was assigned to read. They would hand out a coping skill and send me on my way.

Talk therapy has its place. I am not disregarding that. Coping skills also have their place. However, coping skills are the raft you need to hold you head above water when you are drowning. They are not a solution and never will be.

Instead of leaving the industry I decided that I would strive to be more than just a generic therapist. I would do more than just listen and give you a coping skill. I knew I didn’t just want my client’s to survive. I wanted them to be able to truly heal and actually enjoy their lives.

My work comes from a very personal place. As I have stated, I have been to the crap therapist who charge be $150 to tell me I needed to take a deep breath before raging out. Spoiler alert: If you struggle with rage, then you know breathing isn’t going to cut it. I have spent years talking about particular events in my life only to find that I was still barely surviving much like I was when I restarted therapy. The constant talking, and reliving of particular events can in fact retraumatize you. It can keep you in this fight/flight/freeze/fawn cycle that no matter what you do you just can’t seem to escape it.

I have been in a place in my life before where my body truly felt like a prison I was trapped in. Each day consisted of surviving. I woke up tired. It did not matter how much I slept. Then I would just mindlessly do everything that needed to be done. I was not the mother I wanted to be and I didn’t enjoy motherhood either.

There is a way out and it continues to be my life’s work to help women who are trapped in this cycle.

I remain a student in my work, and I continue to devote my life to helping women start actually living their lives instead of floating through on autopilot just to get through the day.

If you are reading this, I want you to know that not only do I see you but I have been there.

I know what it is like to not want to wake up in the morning and be a mom.

I know what it is like try and numb out just to try and quiet my mind.

I’ve lived with the panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, and just constant fear and worries that comes with being a mom.

I have tried to do it all by myself and eventually I realized I couldn’t.

Women were never meant to live in solitude.

I want you to know that you are not alone.

Always,

Brittany

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